I had an epiphany at the dentist.
Soph was playing while waiting for her appointment (which resulted in the finding of her 2nd cavity in a row. Hmm.) and I was thumbing through gossip mags. My realization came from People magazine – the issue that had all the Oscars coverage.
Boobs’ sister has a double. Named Johnny Weir. They look scarily alike but she’s in no way as talented, well made up or fashionable as he is.
Here’s a picture of Johnny Weir:
Actually the more I look at the picture of Johnny that reminds me of Stinkhole (the sister) I also realize they both look like Peewee Herman.
Once again though, both Peewee and Johnny wear makeup and are more well-groomed.
Oh, I forgot. You’re probably wondering what she looks like right? Here:
Ok, so I modified the picture a bit but I’m sure you get the idea.
I’m not sure whether to laugh or feel really bad.
Last night my daughter lost a baby tooth. Every time she’d bite her food it would hurt. Oh, and the adult tooth was growing right behind it and it was probably telling the baby tooth to get the fuck out of the way.
Every night after we put Soph to bed she always finds an excuse to come back downstairs. One time it was to bring my slippers that I’d forgotten in her room, another night it was for some random toy that she tried to smuggle her iPod in to bring back to bed, another time it was to get a drink of water even though the bathroom is right next to hers and there’s a cup right in there.
Last night she came down with a mouthful of blood and said she pulled her tooth. Oh! OK. I gave her something to wipe up with and off to bed she went. I semi-consciously told myself the Tooth Fairy better visit before I went to bed.
This morning she showed me the Toonie from the Tooth Fairy. I didn’t end up doing my TF job and I know for a fact that Boobs didn’t do it.
So, it’s one of those times that I’m glad she doesn’t tidy her room much and there’s often loose change on her dresser.
Poor thing. Maybe I’ll confess one day.
Boobs is gainfully employed again! Frankly I’ll be glad to get him out of the house. He’s disturbed my whole routine. Obliterated my me time. Fecked up the daily Feng Shui.
The cats and I want our schedule back!
If you read the cartoon in this post, I’ll second what Mr. Sasquatch says, but more like: “If you hire my husband, I won’t eat your face off.”