No…YOU suck

Went to the mall a couple of weeks ago with Soph, bought way too much at Old Navy (damn you, tempting sales). The parking lot was (always is, really) packed so we drove around from section to section looking for a spot. We found one but it was one of those parallel deals, but I thought I did a pretty good job of putting myself in between a sedan and a small pickup truck.

At some point during the drive home I turned the wipers on and noticed there was a card inserted under the right wiper. “Ah, I’ll check it later,” I thought to myself.

Later turned out to be about 2 weeks later. When I finally looked at it I was shocked. Appalled. Dumbfounded. Nay, incensed! Check it out:

slides

WHAT?! Me? Suck at parking? Nobody’s ever told me that! Sure I don’t parallel that often but I really thought there was enough room for either car to get out. Huh!

Then I wondered, what kind of card-carrying a-hole needs to walk around carrying cards to tell people they suck at parking? I think they’re the one that sucks. Maybe I should feel sorry for him because he’s such a huge ass (yes, I’m going to go ahead and assume it’s a guy)? Jerk.

“If I see you do this again I will key your shit” it says. So does that mean he also bought a You Suck at Parking Log Book to match the cards he hands out and now he has a roster of cars to damage because he thinks he’s so entitled?

People like this guy need to realize they suck at life and the reason they’re such an a-hole is because nobody likes them. Or maybe it’s his way of trying to reach out to people and make friends and he’s such an a-hole that he doesn’t realize that’s not the way to do it. Nah, he’s just an a-hole.

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