2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog. It’s both visually appealing and stunningly informative.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 2,600 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 4 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

The Christmas dunce

Elf on the shelf, meet the Christmas dunce.

I can’t even plan well enough to dress my child in something extra nice for her photo with Santa.

OK I have two excuses, well, just one: we were in a rush and I dressed her in something semi-festivish-wintry-a-la-holiday shirt. She threw on her boots, grabbed a stuffy and we were out the door to the mall.

The photo turned out great – no complaints about that. In the car I had a sudden thought. “I hope I didn’t dress her in the same shirt that she wore for her picture last year,” I told Boobs.

Well, the new photo and last year’s are side-by-side. Same Santa. Same big green chair. Same effing shirt! The only proof I have that it’s a different year: she’s holding a different stuffy, wearing different boots and the year 2012 is printed on the bottom.

10 Worst Holiday Albums of All Time | Maxim

Why is John Travolta smiling? He’s thinking about his upcoming appointment at the massage parlour.

I’d say people are pretty picky when it comes to what Christmas music they love, what they’ll tolerate and what makes them so angry their soul implodes.

I’m pretty easy going except for Madonna’s Santa Baby, which I hate. My dad absolutely cannot stand Little Drummer Boy (for some reason. A family story yet untold perhaps) and Boobs just loves the Elvis Christmas album. Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me is a standing favourite. His favourite line: “Fill my sock with candy…”

What holiday songs do you abhor or adore? Check out Maxim’s list of 10 awful Xmas albums:

10 Worst Holiday Albums of All Time | Maxim.

Goodbye, Hello Kitty

Yesterday, as you may recall, was December 1st: the first day on the ol’ advent calendar. About two weeks ago Soph and I were at Shoppers Drug Mart, I think, and I bought her a Hello Kitty advent calendar. I told her that on the first of the month we’d crack a window each day and she could have a chocolate and count down to Christmas.

I think all she heard was “…have a chocolate.”

Anyway, “Aha” I suddenly remembered what day it was and went to the cupboard with the calendar in it. Pulled it out, only to find that more than half of the windows had been opened and the chocolate already advented.

Hello Kitty promptly went bye-bye into the garbage. Ya, I remember hiding in the kitchen behind a curtain, clutching a bag of Oreos while my mom was on the phone, but that was one time. For Soph, this isn’t the first time. What’s the best solution – aside from the obvious of not storing stuff conveniently under the counter. Not buying anything at all or putting a temporary ban on treats maybe?

This piece of Dave Chappelle’s standup routine reminds me of the situation a little (warning: some language):