You Shall Not Pass (it’s store policy)

As an (occasional) advocate for IBS sufferers, I think people/companies should rethink their bathroom policies.

It’s funny when a store says to you “We don’t have a bathroom” when you ask to use it because your 3yr old has to go and you know for a fact that they do because you’ve used it before.

I wasn’t in the mood for a debate. I could have asked, “Does the store not allow its employees to go pee either if there’s no bathroom?” Where do you go when you have to go – to the store next door? Maybe Starbucks? The gas station down the street?”

BUT if that’s their policy, whatever. Sure, my wee one could have gone at Children’s Place like the rest of us because they understand things happen. They understand shopping with kids. That reminds me, Future Shop seems to understand all of its customers too, which “has a bathroom”, where Grace left a hammer.

I guess stores that cater to people who wear Bluenotes (ahem) think their customers can hold their bladders longer ….

Going back to IBS issues, what do we need to do in order to break through that iron curtain of a we-pretend-we-don’t-have-a-bathroom-because-it’s-policy thing? A special bracelet? A pass card? A doctor’s note?

Clean Bee

Deep thoughts over the last little while as to why I don’t clean as often as I should. It’s really been weighing on my mind lately. Uh, ya.

Truthfully though – it’s from being disorganized. My cleaning stuff is all over the house: there’s a bucket of some things in the ensuite, a tub of stuff in another bathroom and some cleaning appliances are in the laundry room but the vacuum could be anywhere, as in it’s on whatever floor I vacuumed last. I had to scramble this morning for my (newly hired) cleaning lady to gather up all of the things she’d need in order to work. Sheesh. Boobs will sometimes ask where the vacuum is (because he says he’s a better cleaner than I am and maybe that’s true because I don’t feel like moving the furniture from one side of the room to the other to get under the couches).

So without resorting to Pinterest, even though I probably will anyway, I’ll resolve to keep everything in one container which can be lugged from room to room. I bet it’s something you already new how to do, but I’m all for procrastination.

Be Pollen

When I was driving home from Homesense today, I saw a lady walking down the sidewalk who’d stopped and trailed down to a part where the weeds and wildflowers were. She started pulling off tufts of fluffy seeds from what I’ll assume was a milkweed and was tossing them into the air.

Was it an urge she had or is she an errant human pollinator?

Dopple-gangers Away!

I had an epiphany at the dentist.

Soph was playing while waiting for her appointment (which resulted in the finding of her 2nd cavity in a row. Hmm.) and I was thumbing through gossip mags. My realization came from People magazine – the issue that had all the Oscars coverage.

Boobs’ sister has a double. Named Johnny Weir. They look scarily alike but she’s in no way as talented, well made up or fashionable as he is.

Here’s a picture of Johnny Weir:

Actually the more I look at the picture of Johnny that reminds me of Stinkhole (the sister) I also realize they both look like Peewee Herman.

Once again though, both Peewee and Johnny wear makeup and are more well-groomed.

Oh, I forgot. You’re probably wondering what she looks like right? Here:

Photo on 2011-05-04 at 15.26

Ok, so I modified the picture a bit but I’m sure you get the idea.

The Tooth Very

I’m not sure whether to laugh or feel really bad.

Last night my daughter lost a baby tooth. Every time she’d bite her food it would hurt. Oh, and the adult tooth was growing right behind it and it was probably telling the baby tooth to get the fuck out of the way.

Every night after we put Soph to bed she always finds an excuse to come back downstairs. One time it was to bring my slippers that I’d forgotten in her room, another night it was for some random toy that she tried to smuggle her iPod in to bring back to bed, another time it was to get a drink of water even though the bathroom is right next to hers and there’s a cup right in there.

Last night she came down with a mouthful of blood and said she pulled her tooth. Oh! OK. I gave her something to wipe up with and off to bed she went. I semi-consciously told myself the Tooth Fairy better visit before I went to bed.

This morning she showed me the Toonie from theĀ  Tooth Fairy. I didn’t end up doing my TF job and I know for a fact that Boobs didn’t do it.

So, it’s one of those times that I’m glad she doesn’t tidy her room much and there’s often loose change on her dresser.

Poor thing. Maybe I’ll confess one day.

Boobs Gets a Job

Boobs is gainfully employed again! Frankly I’ll be glad to get him out of the house. He’s disturbed my whole routine. Obliterated my me time. Fecked up the daily Feng Shui.

The cats and I want our schedule back!

If you read the cartoon in this post, I’ll second what Mr. Sasquatch says, but more like: “If you hire my husband, I won’t eat your face off.”





Boobs has eclectic taste in music. Maybe that’s not even the right word. Diverse? Varied? Obscure? While we both love Depeche Mode and a bunch of other 80s classics (Platinum Blonde, The Fixx, The Cure, Psychedelic Furs, etc) there are … Continue reading

Trailing behind


I fell off the workout wagon so many months ago, that both my muscle tone, hips and thighs have been left dragging in the dust.

I have 2 excuses: the first is that a year ago we adopted our 2nd daughter which involved a 2-week trip to Thailand, then jet-lag and bonding with the little one and not being able to get to the gym because there’s personal protocol to spend as much time at the beginning of the bonding process with just immediate family so I was not about to put her in a gym daycare several times a week.

I did the Jillian Micheals workouts for a bit but got really tired of them.

Next (excuse #2) winter came (and hasn’t left yet) and I was in big hibernation mode.

Even though it’s still stupidly cold outside, the sun has given me a bit more motivation because the warmth is sure to follow those golden rays and I’ve finally had enough of not working out enough. My new favourite source for exercise is aka, The Daily Hiit. You can check out their web site but you have to subscribe via email, Facebook or join Pinterest to get access to the new programs. Once you do you can usually access them all on their youtube channel.

Put a hit out on your fat and Hiit daily: